I am in my late 20's and when I was 5 through 13 I witness my dad beat my mom. My sisters and I (they are 4 and 7 years older than me) would try to pull my dad off and try to hit him. Ever since I have experience depression and I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 since, I felt worthless. Now I just feel like no one really cares and I have put off seeing a psychiatrist. I dont know what to do, I try to be thankful for my life (Lovin Wife, Good Job, Nice Home, College Degree) but all those things dont make me feel trully happy. People would die to be in my shoes but I dont really care about those things since I feel depressed all the time. I heard meds make you feel like a zombie and I am scared to take them if I seek medical help. I try to self destruct sometimes by drinking too much to the point were I blackout. I recently called a co worker completely drunk and said stupid and dumb things. She said not to stress over it since she understands I was completely drunk (i dont remember calling her). I feel terrible about my life, I feel I am a dissapoitment.
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