hi, i am not sure where to start. in mid may i broke up with the one true love of my life because he was treating me badly. it all started a few years back when we started seeing each other after he moaned and moaned he was not happy in his current relationship, i asked if he would end it and he said he would, well he didnt and i got tired of being put to one side so i ended it and then spent a year crying and hugging my mum constantly cos i still loved him and wanted him back. long story short we met up again and once again he said he would leave his partner, he loved me and wanted to be with me, so we started seeing each other. a few months later we found somewhere to live together, i moved in full time and he spent half week with me and half week at his exs (supposedly to let her and kids - not his kids - get used to it) this went on and on until finally he stopped sleeping over there and moved in properly. the whole time his ex was saying she still loved him but understood he didnt want to be with her so he should try and make things work with me, calls, emails and texts were forever being excahnged between them all of which were saying how she wanted him to be happy and he was her bestest friend and she didnt wnt to lose him. all the time we lived together he was constantly hot and cold but mainly cold - saying he didnt think it was working between us and i annoyed him. everytime this happened it broke my heart and i would cry for ages until he would finally say he would work at it with me, which he did for a day or two and then it was negative again. i couldnt stand fact he still spent lots of time with his ex and her kids, but alos went with his ex for a drink a few times and was nasty to me when i was not happy about him being later than he said he would be on one occasion when hed gone out with her. then he went on holiday with them which killed me even more but when i said i wasnt happy all he said was he was doing it for kids. eventually i had enough and we broke up cos i cdnt trust him and got sick of him putting his exs feelings above mine all the time. the day i finished it he moved back in with her and was sleeping on sofa. he has said all along he doesnt not want to be with this woman long term and i know he again is not traeting her well and is being very selfish and lazy once again. i keep seeing him and her out (not necessarily together) and it is killing me to think he is living back with her and here i am all alone. i do not know if they are back in a relationship, i can only guess they are. i do not believe he was straight into a relationship with her when we split up tho. ppl say they think he was but i really dont think he was. i feel so low and depressed after all this, seeing her and him on a few occasions (nt together) and thinking what has she got that i havent? she is a lot older than me, not attractive, never looks nice and is very mardy a lot of the time and i am the opposite. i know she lets him get away with murder and i think that is why he is there, it is just easier and he has no one else to go to. anyway i waffling now - if this was not bad enough i have just had a very upsetting and embarrassing thing happen. an old school friend contacted me and ended up asking me out, i said yes (even tho i was thinking it not serious an dits just a joke), so i go to meet him and no one there - i text him and say i cnt see you and then i get a phone call from the home number he had rang me off in the early hours of the morning. i answer it to find a woman asking what i am doing texting her husband - i explain i didnt know he was married and was only texting cos he had rang and texted me last night, i said i would not contact him agaian and that was that, she was actually quite pleaseant about it, then another phone call from same number saying that he is a friend of my mate and was i gonna go round so everyone could s**g me - i jsut put phone down. i fekt so humiliated, stupid and woirthless that i came home and sobbed and now i am on here. i really do not know how to cope with this as i have no one to talk to at the moment and i just want to cry - i feel i can not trust anyone at all and can not believe how nasty ppl are. it upsets me at the thought my ex and her are sat at home watching something together on tv and here i am crying helplessly and on my own. im sorry this was so long. i just do not know what to do x
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