so i told my hubby about the fact that im depressed and the thoughts i have been haveing he says im CRAZY he thretened to put me in a hospital and how dare i think about not wanting to be pregnant anymore sence i wanted to have another baby soo bad (we tried for two yrs) which is true thats y im soo confussed about some of what i have been thinking about maybe i am going crazy!! i dont even know who i have become... i know that im not going to act on my thoughts but it scares me that im even haveing them!! i wanted to talk to him soo badly but after his threats i could not open up to him!!! he kept me up almost all night tring to get me to talk but like i told him how can i u just theatend me and called me crazy he also thretend if i didnt talk he would tell my oldest son ( he thought that would work but it didnt) i just soo badly wanted him to i dont know just listen to the fact that im misarable and that i dont like who i have become and that i have this overwhelming fear that i well be the one and only person takeing care of the twins when they get here but i didnt get that far... now this morning all i can think about is that what if something happens he will think i did something. I so wish i would have never told him!!!!!!!! i did tell him they where just thoughts and if i realy didnt want the babies i would not be fallowing drs orders to do nothing but set and lay arround.. RIGHT??? i so badly want to cal my family member to talk to her but now im fearfull she might think I have gone crazy to.. i just want myself back!!!!!! he did ask be4 he left 4 work if WE where ok i said yes which was such a big lie!! if i cant open up to him how can we b ok!!!????
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