I am going thru a hard time right now with depression and meds aren't working, don't have any friends to talk to. Only family left is my abuser. I was sexually abused by a close family member and his friend. I'm tryin so hard to just get up everyday and feel numb at times, extremely depressed and hating myself and my life. Feel so very alone and don't have anyone close to me and sometimes just want to have someone there to let me know its gonna be ok. I've been hospitalized twice and don't ever want to go back. Feel like such an outsider to the world...damaged..f@@#$ed up, unloveable, a total mistake of a person, etc. I've always been quiet, shy, unable to feel much of anything but lately I've been havin problems with anger and keep turning it inwards. Then when I do get angry I feel worse about myself. New here and just hopin to make some friends on here and maybe chat on here or even via phone or somethin. I want to have friends I can be with here in NJ in person but I have a hard time making any friends, keeping them, and having them understand me when I isolate myself. I just know I can't keep going on like this.
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