Dear Dr. Smith:
You've been my psychiatrist for about five years and you have never steered me wrong. You have always been patient and kind and willing to work with me. Until today. Today I had to see your associate Jane Doe. Jane said that because of the pain medicine I'm on there are no options for me to take any antidepressants and if she prescribed me anything it would be fatal. In my sarcastic anger , which I know you would understand, I said "you know what's fatal? depression that leads to suicide." I said it to make a point. I didn't say it to say that I was going to plan suicide. I said it to make sure she knew just how serious my problem was.
She decides to discuss the situation with you. You walk into the room and only got half of the information from Jane Doe. You said that you can't stop me from committing suicide. You explain that prescribing certain things to me in combination with my pain medicine would be fatal and would lead to malpractice. Then you said there are other options. I said that's what I asked your associate for. I explained that my comment was not suicidal but simply to state a point. Then you tell me something that you could've told me at any point over the last year and 1/2. You told me that the pain medication I've been on affects the effectiveness of my antidepressants . You tell me that I have not done enough to treat my back without using pain management.
I remind you, as I remind you at every single session, that I have gone through physical therapy, chiropractic care, epidurals, steroid shots, and two rounds of nerve ablation a.k.a. nerve burning. And then I had a spinal stimulator implant put into me by a doctor who didn't do the necessary test to determine the cause of my pain. You acted like I was at fault. You acted like I was supposed to have been through medical school and shouldn't know everything that you know and that a neurosurgeon would know. I was upset and disgusted with you at that moment. I'm not sure if I want you as my doctor anymore. And I definitely don't want to see Jane Doe ever again. Jane will be getting a complaint from me in writing.
As for you Dr. Smith, I'm willing to see you one more time to see if I can work with you anymore. Only because you have been good to me for a long time and I think your associate didn't give you all the information she should have and she didn't even give me all the options that were available to me. My comment was made in the heat of the moment. I realize to someone who hasn't seen me as often as you have that it could have been taken out of context. I take responsibility for that. But you know me. If I had said that to you, I think you would've known what I truly meant by it because you have known me for a long time. You know that I can be extremely sarcastic and it comes through when I'm especially angry, which is rare actually. I think you may have seen me angry no more than three times in the last five years . So given all of that I'll give you another shot. Don't fail me doctor. I've had too many doctors fail me lately.
Your patient who wants to trust you
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Don't know what to say today. The word games etc. are great. Good to be on Daily Strength today. Good to see and hear from you all. hugs all round.