Over the weekend dad was hospitalized with Non-Covid pneumonia. He is on a ventalator and feeding tube but he isn't getting better aparently. They thought he should be better today but he is not improving.
They called my brother about a DNR (Do Not Resussitate) and he called me.
I don't want to loose my dad but it may be time to let him go.
I know he has to be miserable in the nursing home since all he can do is just lay there.
His quality of life is crap... he used to be a very intelligent and VERY hard working man who taught me so much so it is so very hard to see him reduced to this.
Morally he has told me in the past to not resusitate him if he did die. That was when he was healthy and i told him i would gage the situation.
Ethically i have to balance issues about quality of life if he was revived vs the reduction of pain if he passed.
IF he had a chance of a decent life i would say to revive... at this point... he has to be misserable.
Since he has expressed his wish to not be revived in the past and the possibilty of him never being able to move again and having to be fed from a feeding tube i had to tell my brother to let the hospital know that the DNR needs to be in place.
I don't want to loose my dad.. that's the last thing i want but i don't want him to suffer either.
I hate myself for that call but i know he is miserable.
he may still improve but.... it's up to God now.
I met a new friend a few months back. He is the one who came and stayed for almost a week over my bday. (August). He's very nice and has been very helpful when he's around. (I tell him often that he did more for me in 1 day than Dave did in 17 yrs. )We do have some sex. Still no real steam or passion, but I may just have to miss that. Last time he was here , we were going and he was pretty well...
I woke up fatherless today.Last night at around 2:30 God took my father home.I spent yesterday by his side reading from the bible to him.I pray he finds the peace he couldnt get in lifeI kove you dad