hi again. havn't been on in awhile. starting to feel like im coming unraveled again. seeing this new guy, and he has so much baggage. getting my panic attacks back. been getting my cankers, biting my nails, head aches, weight gain. feels like my depression is kicking in again. a million things constantly running through my mind. sometimes i feel like im crazy. seems like i always have to fight to have what everyone takes for granted. body and soul are tired. damn i could use a hug right now. and yes this lonely feeling is coming back. going out with a trucker is a hard life. always missing him. sometimes i feel like this is my hell on earth. i have lots to be thankful for but, the bad always seems to over ride them. gonna be a long night at work again. sometimes wish i could just sleep and never wake up. i no this is just a thought of this moment. not what i want to do. just feeling hopeless in my life. im so tired.
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