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Well, I have the guts to show my face again.
But
I have some apologising to do, and I just want to clear the air a bit.
This is less for the benefit of me, as I have realised the damage I have caused, but more for the benefit of your trust in others.
So if I explain the reasons for my actions it will make you feel safer, and make me look foolish so its ok.
Recklessly at the time I thought no one would care and just think I am seeking attention after my crazy announcement.
And recklessly at the time I believed that it wouldnt make people second guess their trust in each other, but of course it did.
And the decision to have my account terminated was to sabotage my life, my past, what people know about me, and ultimately use it as a form of punishment to myself.
And yes it was because of shame, but as I have said this isnt to make me look good, or get the desired effect (a.k.a people noticing someones behaviour). I am genuinely sorry for what I have done, I never lied about my life, the only thing I have done is ruin the potential friendships on DS.
Dont get me wrong, I knew that part would come, but at that point I didnt care, I have dangerous mood alterations. I thought my life was finished and anything after that didnt matter, but I will note that I read the responses to my behaviour (which surprised me) and I actually felt awful. Just because I ruin my own life, and am more messed up than I take for granted, doesnt mean I have to knock the balance for everyone else.
Im not asking for forgiveness. But I want you to know that there are people you can trust in this world, so if you felt a bit uneasy by it all, this is the truth. There is no way on earth I could have had the imagination to write in the communities like I did, and lie. That would be, excuse my language.
Bollocks.
So if I dont see you around, least I have said my peace. And I am open to any responses, even ones which I may not favour, but what needs to be said should be said.
This wasnt a ploy to get noticed, I just have issues OK.
Take care of yourselves,
Bryony
But
I have some apologising to do, and I just want to clear the air a bit.
This is less for the benefit of me, as I have realised the damage I have caused, but more for the benefit of your trust in others.
So if I explain the reasons for my actions it will make you feel safer, and make me look foolish so its ok.
Recklessly at the time I thought no one would care and just think I am seeking attention after my crazy announcement.
And recklessly at the time I believed that it wouldnt make people second guess their trust in each other, but of course it did.
And the decision to have my account terminated was to sabotage my life, my past, what people know about me, and ultimately use it as a form of punishment to myself.
And yes it was because of shame, but as I have said this isnt to make me look good, or get the desired effect (a.k.a people noticing someones behaviour). I am genuinely sorry for what I have done, I never lied about my life, the only thing I have done is ruin the potential friendships on DS.
Dont get me wrong, I knew that part would come, but at that point I didnt care, I have dangerous mood alterations. I thought my life was finished and anything after that didnt matter, but I will note that I read the responses to my behaviour (which surprised me) and I actually felt awful. Just because I ruin my own life, and am more messed up than I take for granted, doesnt mean I have to knock the balance for everyone else.
Im not asking for forgiveness. But I want you to know that there are people you can trust in this world, so if you felt a bit uneasy by it all, this is the truth. There is no way on earth I could have had the imagination to write in the communities like I did, and lie. That would be, excuse my language.
Bollocks.
So if I dont see you around, least I have said my peace. And I am open to any responses, even ones which I may not favour, but what needs to be said should be said.
This wasnt a ploy to get noticed, I just have issues OK.
Take care of yourselves,
Bryony
deleted_user
hey welcome back. i have no idea what gone on hun, but i applaud the fact you have wrote this post.x.xx.x
deleted_user
I don't know the story behind this either, but if you're sincerely sorry for whatever happened, I'm pretty sure hearts here are big enough to let you start overeveryone deserves a second chance.
deleted_user
hmmmm dont know what happened, i just know that saying your sorry for something you did to hurt someone else, is a big step in trying to get well and find some peace....
deleted_user
I remember this stroy. I can give you a second chance. Welcome back:)
deleted_user
we all make mistakes
deleted_user
don't worry about it. your always welcome here! :)
deleted_user
Oh babygirl! I was so damn worried about you. I am not mad and I know exactly why you did what you did. I think you know how much I care about you and I want you to send me a message. Im glad your ok and Im glad that you posted to let us know.
sja
Glad your back and realize how worried people were about you. Please don't do it again, if you need help, talk to us.
deleted_user
Bryony, new myself, and can't really add much to what's beenposted already, except to say, this is a really good group of people, and yes, you are forgiven.
deleted_user
Welcome back! I have no idea what happened with you and your friends here on DS, but this public explanation/apology is huge! It takes a strong person to put themselves out on a limb like this and I admire you for it.
deleted_user
Issues is my middle name lol^_^. welcome back:)
deleted_user
welcome back hun x
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