conundrum... right?? its a word?? like, i'm in quite the conundrum??? hmmmm... just wanted to be a weirdo and use a word like that. yeah, goofy ass mood. but here we go...

just got off work.... was a pickup so only worked five hours... not so bad. was gonna swing by drew's to smoke a bowl but opted outta it. totally got puked on tonight by a patient so my only thought was to get home and get the fuck in the shower. was NOT a happy camper about that... sooo.... shit. hmmmm.... shit....

k... drew is totally a chill guy. he's cool w/ everyone, laid back, just really nice to people. if you're having a bad night, he doesn't ask, just chills w/ ya, generous as hell with shit, someone who will get all wasted w/ you and crash next to you but won't even try to kiss you or anything... his mom works for some company where he can get a discount on scrubs, afew months ago right after i met him we were at the bar and he brought it up that he could get me a discount from some catalogue... today i talk to him and outta nowhere "oh yeah!! since you got puked on and all i'm sure you can use some new scrubs. swung by my parents house earlier and grabbed one of those catalogues." sweet!! i REALLY need new work clothes. all my pants are trashed from my short ass walkin all over them. he's always down to buy drinks when you're out if you're broke, hooks it up w/ whatever.... BUT.... he's six or seven years older than me. he works, but is definately a drug dealer. not just little shit either, not just selling pot. not attracted to him like that. wants to chill out and smoke and watch a movie tomorrow, wants me to go to a party w/ him saturday, got a nitrous tank, asked if i'm all down with that... ahhhh.... really like chillin w/ him, but don't wanna be an asshole. rudy kinda hinted some shit once, was talkin to him cause drew let me crash in his clothes when we went to that concert and shit (i was wearing this dress, but i danced my ass off so i was sweaty as hell, all nasty about it) and was drivin over to drop them off after work (he's about 20 min fm my casa, 5 min. fm my work)"SO... you're chillin w/ drew, huh?? don't let him pull any shit. he thinks youre cute. oh... shit. i just totally ruined his game, didn't i?? drew's got game!! awww... don't tell him i said that shit. he's a good guy. fuck. you tell him and i'll fuck your face. i'll knock you up, bitch." so, yeah. how do i go about this without leading him on?? not good at this shit, not really used to guys chasing me around. its nice, but i DON'T wanna take advantage of that. that would be a straight up bitch thing to do.

besides that, what the fuck is w/ everyone asking where i'm from?? that party last weekend, this guy keeps asking "where are you from?? really, like, you haven't lived out here forever. you're norweigan... thats it. no, i'm positive. jeff, what is this girl?" jeff's smart ass... "she's hippie. haha... no. she's just hippie, bro, i swear. she's in her work clothes now but she usually wears moccasins and shit. her last name is peaceflower" asshole. he's jackass, thats what he is... then i get people saying boston or new york.... just weird... driving me fucking CRAZY!!