been here for about 8 months first time posting in here.
Qucik back story... my wife of 10 years told me two years ago that she was worried for us. She spent the next 6 months saying how she wanted to “find herself” and spent a few weekends away...I know what you all are thinking...and you are probably right. Then we get to about October 2016 and things seem to be better. Communication is back along with affection. Then 2017 starts and she begins to be distant again...all leading to her not feeling like she Gabe her lawless a full chance to “find herself”. This time around we spent the month of June in separate rooms while she contemplated moving out for a month or two. Again...a few more weekends “away” and here we are in January of 2018 and she seems to be back again. It still feels a little distant but I don’t know what to believe anymore. I will not give up on her....I know I am probably playing right into her hand but here is why I turned to this room as opposed to the other room I was in for advice.
she has told me over several years now she suffers from major anxiety and depression. She has tried to get meds before but had a bad reaction to them. I know the anxiety comes full force when I make a mistake or when the kids are being to loud but I am so fearful that anyone of those will ruin our marriage for good. With all this happening toe over the last two years I believe I am becoming depressed now. I do my damnest to not show it. When the kids are getting loud I try to remove them from the situation, which isn’t easy all the time. I haven’t kissed my wife on the lips in about a year. I try and mostly get the ole cheek kiss. I haven’t heard her tell me she loves me in about two years although when I say it she says it back to me. We had a bit of an argument last week, while other story and when I say argument I meant that she was just really mad at me, to which I thought this might be it and when we were texting later that day I told her i hope that she can love me again...to which she replied “I do love you”
so anyway...I know I said short story and yet the thumbs keep going...
two years in a row now spring time has hit and she pulls the “find myself card”. I’m just waiting to see where this spring goes... here’s the thing... I appear to be almost absent in her Facebook life, we don’t have family photos together, seine is non-existent and yet she keeps talking about renovations WE should do to the house or possibly move into a new house. She talks about or Disney trip coming up, etc....
am I just blind...is she going to just swipe the rug out from beneath me?
So after all my ranting.... how do i help my wife with her depression and anxiety? How do I comfort her when she just wants me away(or at least that’s what I think she wants)?
Thanks for reading!!!
it isnt fun to be poor and needy financially and it gives me issues of self esteem and drags me thru the mucky depression of just wanting to curl up sleeping which doesn’t cost money!uggh
Thank you, my friend, for your words of strength and support tonight - I drew something that makes me happy xx