I'm very confused right now- and not expressing myself well. I cant talk to my close friend, and family, even though I seem to have idealized thoughts about what I want to say. I've been in hospitals on and off for years, but have had a good "run" for the past five or so years, no major depressive bouts at all. I'm on Topamax and Lithium, and feel okay, but I've been havening suicidal thoughts that bother me somewhat. I just switched jobs and feel very overwhelmed, very cut off, with bills, but there are times where I feel good, too- so I don't know what's happening. I'm afraid to tell people whats going on for some reason, and I don't know why.
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