Yes I am feeling the same way.

yep...
it's like looking in a window of shop and seeing delights that you can't touch or taste or truly imagine...

I watch people together, laughing, having a good time, connecting, believing in each other...being in the moment...I just don't know how to be in the moment...It has been a long time since I felt authentically in the moment on anything...I am always standing on the outside wishing I could know what it is like to really feel...The only exceptions are in music and my love for my daughter...otherwise, I am removed, and I don't want to be...

it sucks wish christmas would just go away.

christmas actually cheers me up. i think its what you make of it.
the reason for the season really makes me stop and think. makes me realize i should be grateful for what i have.
and the giving, i get such pleasure out of giving.
and the children, its all about them.
i try to ignore the commercialism of it all.

but thats just me. i can understand your point as well.
(((((HUGS)))))

Sorry i do usually have more to say, im just not looking forward to xmas thats all.

So how come your so upset, will you be spending it with family or is it just that people seem so much more happier around christmas and you wish you could enjoy it too?

I dread christmas, can't wait for it to be over. My decorations come down on boxing day and only go up for the kids. You're not alone.x

No. I wont let them. Christmas is my one time of year that I celebrate. I am going to enjoy it even though I have no money to buy gifts and have requested I get none either to be fair.
I will listen to Xmas music, eat nice food and think fondly of my father who should be enjoying it with me but i'll be damned if I am mad to miss the happiness at this time of year!

well maybe we can be here for each other then, im here for all you. hugs

Thats the spirit Sleepy, wish you pass it on to all of us who arent looking forward to it!

its hard because others are so happy and i just cant be, try to put on a show for my family but in they end it just leads to drinking to much.

i agree-- christmas is tough. i find it hard to act happy when i feel so miserable inside. i have taken to NOT spending the holidays with my family (the source of a lot of stress and pain) and instead have the holiday with a friend. avoiding the stress triggers helps.

if hear one more christmas song ill scream,

lol i think that often lonelyheart. But im try to be happy for people who are excited about christmas. I dont want to bring their happiness down despite the fact that I am just going to pretend like christmas is just like every other day of the year. Its really hard to try to over come the feelings and I am struggling aswell. So just know you're not alone, not everyone is so ecstatic about it :)

It can come and go for all i care this yr...
just dont have the enrgey.
all i ever get is crap from everyone, and i dont mean presentsx

yea when my family is around i put on a face for them so not to wreck their Christmas, i just wish didnt have so much pain inside.that probalby sounds selfish.