i want to say that when i did what i did i was not in the right frame of mind. i understand that is not an excuse. i know just because you are done with your past that dose not mean that the past is done with you. in the start of our married. i cheated with him with another man. till this day i still look back and would think that what i did was stupid. it was an ex-boyfriend that i thought that i was in love with and i felt that no one and no body was going to stop me from seeing him and being with him. when i look back on it now i realize that it was a big mistake that has affected my marriage and has also affected my family. my husband stated that he has forgiven me but he has not forgotten. i understand that and i tried to respect his wishes. then one day we got into a fight and he stated to bring up the past about my cheating on him. i explained to him that it was a mistake on my part and i had not right to do that to him our are family. me and my husband are not living together right know. and i have the fear that he is going to cheat on me and for some reason i feel that should swallow it when he tells me that he went to bed with another women. i am scared that it will push me other the edge. but i feel that i owe it to him. his b-day is coming up and i know that his friends are going to take him out and they might have it set it up for him to have sex with another women. it makes me sick and very sad that he might do it. what should i do. i don't know what to say our what to feel. all that i am felling right know is pain and sorrow.
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