I've struggled with Bipolar depression since my late teens (I just turned 30) I struggled with PPD after my son was born in 2016. *he was premature too. And I had him at 32 weeks and he spent 2 weeks in the nicu* I spent 7 weeks in the hospital trying to prevent another premature birth but had my daughter at 35 weeks, they told me she would probably only be in the NICU for a few hours maybe a day or two. Today Marks day 21 in the NICU :(
her discharge date has changed 4 times now. I just cant do it anymore. I've been away from my son for almost 3 months. It's so damn hard :( I finally came home today to stay home my husband is going back. I just cant emotionally handle it anymore. I wasnt sleeping or eating or wanting to bathe. I feel angry at the nurses all the time because it feels like they are giving me false hope only to have it ripped away again :(
I feel horrible, I feel like I failed her by not being able to make it to full term, and I now I feel like I'm failing her again because I just want her home and feel so helpless in getting her home. She has successfully completed her feedings. Done her hearing test and heart screening and passed her carseat test but now she is starting to have bradycardia episodes and they dont know why
I called a little bit after 7pm and she has been doing good on her feedings since I left, and has maintained her body tempature and hasn't had anymore bradycardia episodes. She has to go 72 hours without any, I hope she is home this week, she is already 3 weeks old today.
Recently i have started seeing a counselor and going to therapy and it has been such an immense about of how for me. Although i'm not perfect and back to the way I was there is improvement that I never thought i'd see; but my one problem is that although i'm growing and becoming more positive my home remains unchanged. It's very difficult to be positive and grow in a home that is negative and...
They say what you do in the morning determines how the rest of your day is going go. I keep going through cycles of loving a certain routine to being completely bored with it. I need some inspiration. What do you do to start your days off right?