to live. i have an appointment in two weeks. i can't hold on that long. once again death is calling to me. but it's not a horrible voice, it's nice, calming, comforting. they took me off my meds two weeks ago cos of th side effects and i feel bad. so bad. when i'm in the kitchen the knives look tempting. in the shop the pills look tempting. outside, temptation to walk out in front of a car is huge. cos i couldn't get an appointment with my pdoc quicker they said that if i was struggling to present myself at the ER. i don't think so. they would just section me. not what i need. i have no energy and i think my hubby is so sick of my illness. he needs a break. when i'm gone he won't have to deal with it anymore. am i rambling? please help me someone.
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Feeling pretty bad today. I'm exhausted in every way. Tired of living this life where nothing changes or gets better despite how much I try. Had a bad life all my life and I'm just tired of being here.