Bipolar life -- when things go well, they soon won't.....I had to put Bullseye to sleep tonight. I took her in for a recheck, and they were pretty sure she had herniated her intestinal wall, which meant her intestines were outside her gut, but still inside her body. That means, the part hanging out woud eventually strangulate and she would die a slow, painful, and miserable death. Not wanting to or being able to spend more $$ on Xrays just to confirm what already was pretty certain, I decided it was time. I am sick, my guts hurt and my face hurts so bad just like they did when Isaac died, but not quite as much....but I have no vicodin or mu (Ijust puked) muscle relaxers to help me this time....I'm all on my own!!!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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