Well where do i start. For the most of my childhood i've had my 3 years older brother hurting me. I've been toyed about by a few girls which has hurt me but one who i've clicked well with and i have got engaged. The problem posed is the fact she's three years older than me and we live very big distances, so i see her for one to two weeks every six months. My father has always harboured up my brother and tried to sort his life out, sort of being a bit of a control freak over my brothers life. And so i'm left neglected by my dad as he turns a blind eye to my beatings from my brother, my mother works late hours and tends to take the stress out on me and living in the secluded place we do i get little contact with the outside world. I'm extremely thin and find it very hard to put on weight, i'm clinically underweight at 16.4 BMI. I'm into poetry and often labelled as an "Emo". I write darkened poetry as it makes me appreciate the depression more, making me more happy. I'm often told i'm mature for my age, and so i am very infuriated at the fact that i'm too young to do anything when really i want to be up in college by now, yet i've got two more years. I've had a few online communities tell me my depression is just a phase of puberty, whether or not that is true is disregardable as it does not save me from the depression, just give me false hope. I've just moved to private school and i tend to stay up late as i'm much more active during the night. My parents don't know of my depression yet and i'm trying my best to keep it that way, i sometimes use sharp objects as pain relief, not actually cutting myself to bleeding, but just scraping my arm as it helps me calm down and relax. For anymore information i'm 14 and would consider myself sensible.
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