Life still seems to be dragging in some respects. I'm still bar one slip up sober the last 2 weeks. Before that I was drinking less.
My wife still won't be intimate until I have a few months under my belt. That is very difficult.
My job is difficult because I alienated a few people the last few years. I wish I could retire as it's a school full of disruptive pupils. But I have a young son.
I'm on summer holidays now but I dread going back.
I am running again which is good and writing which is something I am passionate about.
I'm just tired of being psychologically under pressure if that makes sense.
I feel like just fading away. There are suggestions online for getting through these suicidal feelings, ie: take a walk, play with your dog, bake brownies, meditate, watch a funny movie, go to the mall, to the park, to an athletic event. NO..it doesn't work like that! You can't just go and distract yourself from severe depression. You can't go do anything at all because it's so exhausting, and...
After my post "Of Chickens and Eggs," I felt compelled to report that I had a fantastic day yesterday. I don't know what caused it. Perhaps it was all of your advice and well wishes. Whatever the cause, yesterday was the kind of day I wish I had every day. I woke at 5:00am and worked very hard, with focused energy until 5:00pm. There were some new stressful things that happened...