I read your profile and again you said you feel your family only wants you because of money. Have you had a family discussion and actually found out what, if any, problems exists and gave each member a chance to offer suggestions on how it could be remedied? You also said you are self-employed. Did your income provide well for your family or has your wife always needed to work? You have to communicate with them, not to a forum to find out the problem and fix it.

bump

I'm sorry to hear you are having problems...and feeling so alone.....please take care of yourself, so you can do what you need to....

to answer your question , i stated i have talk to her she and claim she would help out but as always she did not keep her word. in fact i get the cold shoulder as if it my fault. keep in mind we live well but we need to cut back on things if she will not help out which for her this is not and option.

Do you have kids? If so who takes care of them? Who will take care of them if your wife goes to work to pay the bills? What was the previous financial arrangement, before you got hurt?

I feel for you cheif. I work 3 jobs and cannot get my wife to keep one. I have 3 teenage kids to support and a lot of bills. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Am here if you need to talk. Randy

I have the same questions as McEllie. Who will take of the kids? You may have to make other arrangements.

yeah i am always good enough to help listen and be used but never good enough to keep. Noone tries to put a smile on my face or helps me pay for shit!

I can understand, I am a single parent with 3 kids. I am on my own running this household. I had a medical condition which took me out of work for 3 weeks, it really sucks. Just the stress alone....sucks

Chiefcraz.. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I was the main breadwinner in our house until 4 years ago. My husband is self employed and our income is now below the poverty level. I can't work. We have both sat down and worked out a budget that helps us exist. Talk to her again, tell her about the added stress it puts on you. Ask her for support. I had to sell my rings to help out. If you had a good lifestyle, sell anything you can. 'Things' mean nothing when health and happiness are at stake. Please keep trying, you will get back on your feet faster. I am here too if you need a friend, someone to vent with or chat to. My best wishes to you. xx

I may be totally off base here... there is a lot of missing variables, details that would give a clearer picture, so I'm just going to say what pops in my head...

A lot of men of our generation and generations before tend to base their self worth on their ability to provide for their family. Your injury interferred with that ability, but I don't see that as the root of your anquish... I see you at a point in your life where you wish to be valued for your other qualities and not just your ability to provide.

At the same time, your children (age?) may be at that gimmee gimmee stage that drives all parents nuts. (I once posted a sigh on my door that read "NO WORMS TODAY" as they felt like squacking baby birds demanding worms... cash worms, all sorts of worms.)

As for your wife, a lot of unknown variables there, too. Is she materialistic? Was she when she met you? How did you present yourself when you met? Is she just USED to you being the Great Provider, the one who takes care of everything? Does she have an education? Job skills? (If not and if daycare would be required, it may be financially better if she didn't work since daycare for more than one child and other costs involved with her working such as any clothing, transportation, etc., can exceed net min. wage.)

There are things you can do... he who makes the money controls the money... set up a budget that you can afford. Plan activities with your family that do NOT involve spending money... a day in the park, whatever. Even just hanging out playing board games or something so they will get to know you as more than just the Great Provider.

And you may want to explore your feelings in therapy, work towards defining a self worth beyond the realm of provider.

to answer my wife works full time and make fairly good money (40-50 a year) we have talk in regards that she needs to save a portion of her income but like i said she does not keep to her word. i want to point out that its not just about the money but i would like to see her finsh something that she said she is going to do.