I am so sad still crying because my fiance doesn't trust she has been through so much and yet I can't even touch her with out asking. She is going through so much and i can't find people to chat with on a site that are going through what i am going through right now. I don't know if I can do this on my own anymore. I am trying but it is just way to hard. I keep doing research but it seems like I am always hitting a dead end and no one to turn to and talk to. I starting cutting my self at work yesterday because I feel I can't help her, I can't make her pain go away and all I feel like is that she can't trust me anymore, I feel like she shut me out and now I am standing alone in the dark with no where to go. What do I do. I make her feel like a sex object because I am always wanting sex which is a problem I wish i didn't want it, I don't want it anymore becuase when we do have sex I feel as though I am raping her even thoug it is her consenting to it. I get it out of my head what happend to her. I am such a horrible person for wanting sex almost all the time with her. Some one just kill me for being such a horrible person for making her feel like a sex object. I have kept this bottled up for to long that I am having trouble trying to describe how I am feeling. What do I do, what can i do it seems like nothing but just to sit in the dark til my fiance decides to let me back into her life.
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