I've mentioned this before but it continues to bother me and I don't know why I do this or how to stop. I need some advice or help or just someone to tell me they do the same thing! I often find myself drifting into day dream like states where in my head I make up stories but many times I don't realise that I'm doing it and sometimes even makes me start crying because it almost seems real. I think my most common ones are family members getting into bad accidents and I have to go the the hospitol and find out whats going on etc. Sometimes I think about what things would be like if a loved one were to die and how I would take it and how it would affect my life. Sometimes its almost like I wish it upon myself because I want to have a reason to be sad, honestly I really don't know why I would want something bad to happen to me and thats what bothers me the most. Sometimes I have conversations with people in my head or just imagine random things going on, not necesarily bad things always. Its gotten to the point sometimes where I'm so into it that I almost believe its real. I've done this at work for example where I see someone and almost want to tell them what had happened and then remember that it wasn't real. Sometimes I feel like I live in my head and that my relationships are in my head. Anything I want to happen, since I can't seem to make it happen in real life (because of fear or lack of motivation or whatever reason) I will live it out in my head. Sometimes I will imagine meeting someone and falling in love in my head. I don't know how to control this or to stop, especially because sometimes I don't realise what I'm doing right away. I want to stop living life in my head and I want to be able to LIVE again. I want to have friends, I don't want to sit here watching TV or messing around on my computer ALL the time. I don't want to sit in this room thinking about what COULD happen in my life. I want to go out and see what WILL happen. I just don't know how to break free of this and get out of this rut and stop letting my demons control me. I just can't do this anymore and I don't know how to stop! Please help!
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