So against my better judgement I am drinking so I can be numb tonight in order to forget what a dark place I am in right now. I know alcohol is not the answer but it sure does help.. I am sick of this damn life and I want a new one... I feel like I cant do anything right, and am a total waste of space. I can't figure out what happened to the old person I used to be and how to get them back, the person I am now I a whiny little jerk who feels sorry for themselves. Ive been trying to avoid cutting even though I know I have the equipment if I wanted to I have to many scars now. I'm trying not to have suicidal thoughts and I have been doing well until tonight and I dont know what triggered it. I just dont know.... Im just going to drink it away its easier that way......
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