Lately I've been on a kinda self-revelation thing. Where I find more & more out about myself than I ever thought possible. And one thing I've noticed is that I seem to be depressed 90% of the time with only the remaining 10% being when I feel good. Take the other day as a example. I felt on top of the world, I was really enjoying joining in here at ds, making ppl laugh which in turn made me feel GREAT! but now I'm back to my miserable old self again & I don't know why. It started friday night when I felt something was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. I was racking my brain trying to think of new ways to make ppl laugh or just smile on here but nothing was coming to me. Maybe that's why I feel down I really enjoy making ppl feel good. I feel like a coward too. Last time I saw my psychologist we got talking about children. I would love to have children but I'm just too chicken to do it. I'm too chicken to even bring it up in a conversation with my boyfriend who I know is a wonderful father to his 10 year old son. I don't know, maybe I've just got too much going on & don't quite know how to deal with it. Any suggestions would be gratefully appreciated.
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