I just hate having these days! I feel just absolutely worthless and a horrible mom. I'm trying so hard to be strong for her and i feel like i can't be. I'm wearing thin, so to speak. I have to fight to get my ex husband's rights terminated, fight to get the man punished for touching my daughter, and I have a guy that I've dated off and on since nov and been friends with for over 6 years messing with my mind, telling me he misses me and loves me but yet he can't stay faithful and can't stop lying to me. He's confusing me. Making life harder for me. I'm trying to move on and be single for right now but he's wanting me to get back with him and everything else. I don't know why but i can't stand up to him, its like he has mind control over me and i can't break it. Its a constant cycle. I tried to tell him today we can only be friends but he started sweet talking me and i melted and then i remembered i had to be strong and i used the excuse i had to go because of some lame excuse. I hate making excuses and I can't tell him the truth that i'm moving on because of the hold he has over me. He always makes me feel like i need him and can't function with out him, even tho i know i can. He plays games with my mind and I don't know what to do about it anymore. I try not to answer the phone when he calls, but he keeps calling until i pick up the phone. There are times we can have a decent conversation and nothing comes up about us being together, like he'll call and ask how my daughter is, or how i am or just to tell me whats going on in his life, then the rest of the time he calls to mess with my mind. we have been friends for so long i don't want to loose the friendship we have. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to be a good mom but i really don't feel like i am. I dunno if any of this makes sense but i just needed to vent some where. I'm doubting myself and my existance. I don't want to hurt myself but sometimes i just really want to know why i'm here anymore.
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