When you held me in your arms I was safe from my lurking demons. You made me real. When you kissed me nothing mattered more then the taste of your love. You were my world. Whenever you left the room my heartbeat quickened for fear youd never return. You were all I had ever dreamed of and more.
So I begged you to stay, on my hands and my knees I chose you over my future. When faced with the choice between you and the one other person who sacrificed their dreams for me, I still chose you. Because nothing mattered more then your praise.
You led me through the shadows and helped me find the light.
So on my hands and knees in the degradation of the mud I begged you to stay. If you said no I knew my world would cease to be. How could the sun rise without your smile to wake it?
Food was not important nor school nor friends nor air. You were the blood that ran through my veins. My lifeline.
Yet it all fell apart.
When did your love start to feel like a prison cell? Somehow the time drifted by and the lines blurred between love, lust and need.
We drifted apart and lost all moral values. Your presence seemed a task not a blessing. Yet I still needed you, for how could the sun rise without your smile to wake it? As ugly as it now seemed to be, it was impossible.
But eventually I had to leave; the degradation had worn me down till I was nought but a pile of burned ashes worthless to you and worthless to the world. I had no fight left and no will in my heart to dig blindly in the mud for your love anymore.
So now your gone and the time drifts by like the spring breeze. Like a pitiful hallucination my life proceeds. Day by day, week by week, month by month and within the blink of an eye its been over a year since you held me in your engulfing arms.
Looking back I can see I was right all along.
The sun will never rise again.
I am worthless. I am degraded. I am broken. I am free
And in the end isnt that all that matters?