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Am I warped?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I broke up with my boyfriend because I cheated. The relationship was long distance-not as a different states long distance, but different cities- well, I never told him I cheated. I didn't think it was necessary to divulge that information. You may ask, how does this make me warped?... you see, I expected a response, like maybe him even being slightly devastated that I broke up with him. I didn't get that response. It seems he almost welcomed the break-up. So I almost want to tell him just so I can get to him... its so strange that I would want to see him hurting just because he responded indifferently to my breaking up with him. Seriously, doesn't that make me ridiculously fucked up?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It makes you human.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Truthfully, I am surprised by this response...
deleted_user
deleted_user
What I meant by my response, is that at a base level when we're hurt by someone it's not unusual to want to hurt back. I didn't mean that you should tell him just to hurt him.
sja
sja
No, you are not fucked up, you are human.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh I know you didn't mean that... and I am not going to (I hope) but I just thought how strange it is, how rather un-human it is, that's all
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not fucked up. Try not to beat yourself up. Is it possible that the 2 of you can talk? Maybe you could find out why he responded to the break up the way he did. Just a thought. I'm here for you if you need it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No, it doesn't. In my opinion I think he was only with you just to be with somebody. He probably didn't want a committed realtionship but when you divulged to him, he probably thought it was not worth it to pursue a relationship.
You on the other hand probably liked him and wanted to know what is on his mind and all that other stuff but you should just forget about him. He's the weird one.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The thing is, becaue I cheated, I don't deserve to feel good about our relationship, I really don't deserve to feel good about how it has ended. Yet, somehow, I want to see him hurt. I guess it's the age old, misery loves company.. I suppose that holds true for the young lady who has posted about her mom (her mom is miserable, therefore must make her miserable to feel better about her own situation.... I'm just praying that I won't drunk dial and do something I'll regret in the sober morning light.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Kikyo, I have a strong suspicion you are dead on.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're not warped. I do think your boyfriend's behavior is suspicious. I also don't think that if you told him now that you cheated he would even then give you the reaction you hoped to see. I hate that feeling myself. It sucks. The breakup was probably for the better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He may not welcome the break-up at all. Different people handle emotions differently. He may have cried at home in private or gone out and drank at a bar to try to get over it. Just because you didn't see a response that would indicate to you that he was hurting doesn't mean he isn't.
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