I understand the losses and grieving.

I never really had time to grieve my losses as my son was young, and I was caught up in being a parent...holidays can be awful unless we have the support we need

All I understand about grieving is that it comes in waves and passes

the first year is hard on people, but time truly does heal...what wouldn't be more natural than to grieve the loss of someone you love

But you can make a choice to stay stuck, or force yourself to get out. Give yourself a time set aside to think on them, or when it comes over you, allow it to

This year may very well stink, especially if you have no distractions

I'm sorry for your losses and that they are so fresh

i too am sorry for your losses. how do i deal with the holidays and loss, i pour myself into making sure my young nephews and niece have great holidays. i have no kids myself and i try to look out for my siblings' kids cuz it helps to ease the hurt after a while.

Yes, you all are so right. I have no kids, but I have 2 wonderful nephews and a fantastic neice. How do I make it great for them when I can't even go into a department store?

no, honey, no....normal reaction. i lost my mama Dec. 17, 1999...and i'm just now getting ok with Christmas. I didn't put up a tree or allow any decorations for 4 years.
When you lose loved ones close to...what are supposed to be HAPPY family oriented holidays...it's just very hard. In the last 7 years I've lost 6 loved ones. But...life really MUST go on, darlin'....I'm sure they'd want that for you.
This one will be the worst, but it WILL get easier...I promise.
xoxoxo
Di

have you tried volenteering at places? I know that there are adaults in rest homes who would benefit from having you there because their own family doesnt spend the holidays with them or ever.its sad but its the way things happen. my children and I volenteer for them during the holidays.so I nknow there is someone who could apreciate you there at this time of year.its a thought.

Thanks psya I never even thought about that.

There is no rule that says u HAVE to join in with the holidays, you do what ever you feel comfortable with. if u want to eat cheerio's all day and watch bad movies then do it! Spend the day helping out at a homless shelter? dye yr hair pink and run around the block singing! its yr time, yr life use it how you want to!

Yeah, my Mom died Christmas Eve several years back and it sucked. I hated Xmas for a long time. I think that's how I grieved. Not sure, really. It's been 9 years and this is the first Xmas I've felt like really celebrating. Give it time and don't try to force it. You have the right.