Therapist said perhaps some people just know how to push themselves more. They may be depressed and have other stresses; but they are able to get up in the morning, go to their jobs, carry on with the business of living, and deal life's issues as they come. I tend to shut down and shut out. I guess the issue is whether or not I am lazy or/and not motiviated enough. A job stressed me out so bad one time, I slept on the beach for 3 days. Other times, I have sat on the bathroom floor and bawl like a baby. During my teens and early 20's, I was extremely suicidal and could not see how to function through the next day. When I realize I could not commit suicide, I had to literally figure out how to live. Granted, I am not doing such a hot job of living life. Question: Am I not motivated enough? Am I lazy? I do go through periods of time that I am extremely exhausted and literally pray to die--this is when I want to particularly die.
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