
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
May be some of you remember my story, I am ph.d. student and mom of two years old girl. I changed my adviser and failed qualification exam.
I really like my ph.d. topic and working with my adviser (although I had bad problems at the beginning with her).
However, the problem is that this relationship with adviser become addiction, doing work for her too. This is REAL addiction, if I am not doing the work for her- I am going crazy. I feel bad, I feel depressed. I like to go to school and meet and speak with her-I see her as my mentor and very clever women.
However, I have to share office with other grad student and I have 3 days to go to school and she two, those two days I FEEL AWFUL.
In addition, of course the adviser encorages strongly such my activity, but sometimes I physically tired to do the work, but STILL- I cannot stop.
I know she sometimes uses this my motivation to get as much work done, but cannot do anything with this.
Any suggestions???
I really like my ph.d. topic and working with my adviser (although I had bad problems at the beginning with her).
However, the problem is that this relationship with adviser become addiction, doing work for her too. This is REAL addiction, if I am not doing the work for her- I am going crazy. I feel bad, I feel depressed. I like to go to school and meet and speak with her-I see her as my mentor and very clever women.
However, I have to share office with other grad student and I have 3 days to go to school and she two, those two days I FEEL AWFUL.
In addition, of course the adviser encorages strongly such my activity, but sometimes I physically tired to do the work, but STILL- I cannot stop.
I know she sometimes uses this my motivation to get as much work done, but cannot do anything with this.
Any suggestions???
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yes, I am very anxious about the re-examination and my study--IRONICALLY, BECAUSE I LIKE IT VERY MUCH. the re-examination is my last chance to stay at school and that\'s why I afraid of it.
I definetely see ROLE MODEL in her. It is scaring, but I (and not only I) noticed, that I started dress and look a lot like her.
AND YES I FEEL I need TO MAKE SURE not to loose any chance for SUCCESS, since I like the topic and the women very much. AND I WROTE THIS top thinking, O my g-d what will be after graduation??
I guess, you right, I am going scating- to break my routine.
However, tomorrow I have my computer time and I really wait to go to get some staff done untill Monday.
Just to share with you one more incident that happened a week ago- and let me know what do you think. On Thursday I had meeting with the professor and then unexpectedly for me her other student arrived, she had also scheduled the meeting with her, they did not tell me anything before, but I felt bad, that I had to leave.I actually was physically sick over last weekend, as result of it.
I know I idealise this women MUCH and she is NOT in reality as I idealise her. She is relatively marginal as faculty in the departament, my previous adviser was much more central figure, but he left the department for now. She is using other people without hesitation to GET HER purposes and she might not be the smartest of the department. BUT BECAUSE SHE IS MOM AND FACULTY PROFESSOR and really beautiful women ( I think many men of the department like her in a very specific way ;-) and she did it, I find her very interesting person to be.
BUT YOU GUYS, JIM and JAYBEE HELPED ME A LOT, putting things into proportions, letting me to realize I am not badly crazy, I can easily do staff outside the study and it requires not much of the effort, after all.
JIM- SPA and TODAY\'S walk WERE WORTH a lot for my WELL_BEING.
Baby steps... OK ;-), very nice idea, but what will it be concretely. I don\'t plan it on every day, only for whole university event, when I am going (most likely ) to ask some question 9hopefully good question) one very known professor. This time I want to be beautiful and visible and I think I already gor good question to ask.
As for the professor- she actually hurt me failing me on the exam in her interests, I did not know this at the time of the exam, but I know it for now- it was hurt and stressing for me, but it definetly made me to change my adviser (she made it look like he (previous adviser) failed me on the exam) and she needed students badly. She knew I was depressed and felt bad even before the exam, but did not hesitate to hurt. Of couse she offered nice topic and mentorship to me, but mentally, I guess I would much better not failing this exam (I got 2 high pass on 2 out of 4 questions)and (probably, although not sure) staying with my previous adviser.
She failed another student in the exam cause she needed help with meeting organizations for faculty (a lot of help) and MADE him to work on her by fear of re-examination (of course he volunteered and work long hours with no pay). He still does this, his re-examination is in March too.
As for professors, there are also some stories of how she gets grants- money, but I am not sure those are true.
As for strong men ;-), yea, I got my hubby, but he is very busy men, who also pursuying academic career and got a lot of his trouble. Often I barely see him at the eve.
As for adviser I think I need to be less clear list for her. Recently she nicely mentioned to me all my fears, well may be not all but many of them. Frankly I did not like that.
Little trick I plan, but still not sure whether it worth of doing at all- until now I gave her my schedule inadvance, but now I think I am going to stop it, making her to be more intrested to meet with me (namely make her reality less predictable). I am also planning to send her the description of work done, rather files themselves and present the findings only on meetings (one more time less predictable reality). Do you think it worth doing??