Tonight I almost committed suicide bc a girl basically said I was creepy pervert and it hurt so much. It hurt so mich because I have been "that guy." You know the one. The weirdo nobody talks to cause they think he's a perv or something. Yeah, hello! I'm that guy you've judged, along with what feels like half the world. To be rejected not only by people I was attracted to but by people in general, has been a fight just to exist. And tonight, I almost killed myself making the world a better place. For the first time in my life, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I coyldn't hope, cry, talk, etc. I was just dead and defeated and tonight I thought about poisoning myself. Get rid of the fucking pervert I am. Give women a better world. But, time or something got to me. It sure wasn't the f****** Suicide Hotline or Crisis Text Line. They're just some cookie cutter bulls*** that give you the same answer rather than just being a shoulder to lean on when I weak or not close to seeing my counselor. But whatever, maybe I'll reck my car tomorrow and die. That'd be nice. To know I could die and not be in pain anymore. To not be laughed at. I just want it to stop. Pls.
i just don't see how any of this can ever get any better.It still all has me in its sharp talons of memory of trying to forget.How long do i have to sit and process?i don't want to "sit with the feelings".i have been trying to do that for years.i guess i am not working hard enough.i feel so desperate.
Hey everyone. I haven't been on here much lately since my father died and everything with the pandemic. I want to feel like I can contribute words that will give comfort to others but I just don't feel like I have any right now. But I got to get all this out. So this might be a long post. Thanks in advance if you read part or all of it.A friend of mine turned out not to be such a great friend...