I don't consider myself to have low self esteem. I know who I am and what I believe and all that and I like myself. I just feel like no one else can see that. I feel like people will only like me if they feel like they have to or I give them a reason to. Like maybe if they feel bad for me. I've used my depression and the fact that I'm a cutter to manipulate people. I day dream about horrible things happening to me like family members dying like I almost want it to happen thinking that people will feel bad for me and be my friend. Maybe I just like being miserable? I sleep with guys to make them like me. I buy people things. I know that everyone doesn't accually hate me. I know I'm likable but at the same time I can't believe that! Does that make any sense? I've felt this way since I can remember. I just don't know how to convince myself this isn't true??? Please help! Any advice??? I just want to have confidence for once!
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