i'm a person who has really high values when it comes to sex. i don't believe you should have sex with someone unless you genuinely love them. but my problem is i really want to have sex with someone that i don't love at all. i'm not even sure that i like him alot but thats cuz i don't really know him that well. he was very straightfoward with me and let me know that he only wants a friends with benefits relationship and i don't know whats wrong with me but i kinda don't mind the thought of it. this may be the repression of my depression working against me but i think that if i just let loose and did something out of character that it would make me a completely different person and maybe i could open up to and have a greater impact on the world. maybe this could be an experience for me cuz i really have no experiences. i just want to live you know. its like i know that his intentions are probably to use me that way but apart of me doesn't care and wants to be used (in that way only) and apart of me just wants to feel again and have some type of life. but then theres this little voice that grows smaller and smaller in the back of my mind that says 'hey girl this can only cost you and not benefit you in anyway. hes no good for you. don't do it' but that voice grows smaller and smaller as everytime i see him. am i the worst person in the world for wanting to start this kind of relationship? i feel like i don't know what to do? i really really want to do it but at the same time i don't think i can handle this kind of relationship and thats why i keep hearing that voice...
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