i was a complete ass for most of my marriage and now that i've seeked out help and am trying it feels like i can never live down the things i did. my wife is using this new time, i think, to take advantage of punishing me for all my wrongs. is there any hope for this? do i deserve the punishment for past sins or is there ever any chance for redemption? i just feel like a bug that is in the way and i am down all the time now and is hard to get back up and go again. it feels like a train wreck and i feel like i am under it
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