I would like to ease your pain and agree with you but I cannot. I had an abortion many years ago and I suffer no guilt whatsoever about my decision..I made the right decision

See I know in some aspects it was right but I cant help thinking that I wouldve worked so damned hard to make it work, to make it rightthat I was going to have a baby

Life is the Breath of God when we are born. Every month a womans body rejects perfectly good eggs that will never breathe the breath of life. One in four pregnancies miscarry before a woman even knows that she is pregnant. I know a 16 year old girl who has been sexually abused since she can remember. Until she was 9, the only words she was allowed to say were 'sorry' and 'thank you' I am pro life, but I would never want to see a child that is not wanted or loved. You will learn to live with your guilt. I gave up my 8 month old daughter to my parents care as I was far too young to be a proper mother. She has never forgiven me, I have forgiven myself. I did what I believed was for the best. I stand by that.

I think a lot of girls who have abortions regret it.The choice is there the law allows it,if there was no choice you would not have made that decision.Hope you find inner peace xxx

thankfully ive not been in your position, but i know u r not alone. its hard to deal with but remember u made the the decision at the time based on factors that were available to u at that time. its easy to look back with regret but dont punish yourself.x

I will support you no matter what you chose to do. It was your choice and I have no right to sit here and judge you for that. Please know that you can freely talk to me anytime ...

Thank you for your kind words but I've been doing alot of thinking about how fast everything happened and I cant help but think I did it because it was what he wanted. He says he wants kids but keeps telling me that where we are isn't right, and he is right and that he wants to have financial security before we have a child and I guess it's important but since the ab it's like he's not cared too much about it. I can't help but think that maybe in my weakened state (Im currently suffering with berevment issues, depression, si, and countless other things) that maybe he just convinced me to do it but not in so many words. His mother didn't help matters much either as the only support she offered was 'If there is a price, I'll help pay it' which I cant help but look back and think they conspired together to get me to have it. I went alone, I could've walked out but didn't, which hurts because I regret that now more then anything.

that is something you will need to come to terms with in time. it did happen and wrong or right..it can't be redone. it sounds like it was the rigt choice but maybe you need to take some time from them and focus on healing you and see if they still fit in your life then. i have never been there but again, it sounds like the right choice for the situation and if they are reacting in a way that hurts you now, then having a child in that family is definately a bad idea.

I think if everyone waited for financial security and ect nobody would have children. I think you should just take it day by day. Things have away of working themselves out.

I have suffered sooo much guilt over this. At times, I could think of nothing else. I know exactly what you're feeling. I think I have finally forgiven myself, after asking God to forgive me. But, I punished myself severely for it before that.

I've been pro choice since before Roe vs. Wade, when 12 yr old girl who's family dressed aliganian (sp? kinda like amish) very nieve girl went to a party not knowing she was the entertainment and got pregnant from that and got an illegal abortion. Legality put unsanitary butchers out of business. And it's just flat out none of the government's business.

My best friend now got an abortion back when we were in college, she just met the guy, totally bad timing, etc. And she has gone thru major guilt just you wrote about, especially after she became a Christian. She wasn't coerced... but still tremendous guilt, imagining how old the child would be each year and she did later on marry the father, they're still together. She found some peace by praying about it and asking God to forgive her. That's her religious believes... believing God forgave her allowed her to forgive herself.

I hope you find some way to forgive yourself since you feel such guilt, and so you can make peace with a past you cannot go back and change.

I believe everything happens for a reason. There was a reason you made that choice. You regret it noe, but it was the best choice at the time or it wouldn't have been made. You can't undo the past, so You have to find a way to forgive yourself and move on. I hope you find that inner peace that you need.

I agree with everything you said. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt and don't know how to make it go away. I'm here for ya!

i usually don't like this type of discussion..but...well...gonna comment anyway.
i'm sure this was a decision you made with great difficulty. it's NEVER one made lightly. it's very easy tho, AFTER the fact to question and torture yourself as to whether u chose correctly. but u stated very VALID reasons why u were not in a good position or state of mind to be responsible for another life.
please don't torture yourself. do your best to be in the place where u can, someday...be able to handle this awesome responsibility. try and look forward, rather than behind.
i'm pro-choice...but at the same time...do NOT take this lightly, nor do i think most pro-choice people do.

but..i sure never saw the people protesting in front of women's clinics...lined up, instead....in front of the children's home near my house to adopt..unwanted, abused, neglected or just plain "throw away" children, rescued (?) from poverty and horrid conditions.

i think i would respect the "pro-lifers" a whole helluva lot more...if i saw them lining up to adopt the children already HERE and suffering.
My husband volunteers at such a shelter and sees 1st hand these poor unwanted children awaiting foster care....that may never even come. raised in "the system"...the system, i think...that guilts some women into having these children, and then leaving them to fend for themselves once they accomplish this "noble" goal.
they don't see the result.

my advice to u is...look ahead...but remember...so that when u DO have children..u will be ready..mentally. protect yourself until that time arrives...and give yourself a break, darlin' as you're far from alone.
xoxo Di

Hi I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in the way you feel. I had an abortion when i was twenty one and feel guilty everyday. I now can not get pregnant and think that i am being punished for what i did. nobody understands the guilt that i feel.