So I've been doing reasonably well for a few days. Since last night I've been back sliding into this damned depression. I was supposed to take a CPR class, but I didn't feel up to it. I was going to try and do some stuff around here, but instead I've been sitting around with the tv on (not really watching it), eating junk food, and moping and crying. What can't the good periods last? I can't even enjoy them because I know the bad stuff comes soon after. And the better I feel, the worse I feel later. Why do I always feel I'm being punished for something. I complain about my weight, but can't get myself motivated to do something about it. I sign up for classes and don't go. I have great kids and friends and don't want to be bothered with them. The house is a mess and I don't clean it. How have I become such a useless creature
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As the title of this journal entry says, "I am African-American and not proud of it." I would first like to say that I am sorry to offend anyone by saying that, as it is not my intention. I would also like to apologize to any of you who have messaged me and not known this about me. It scares me each time someone messages me on here, because I am afraid that once you find out that I am black, the...
For a few months now, I have been hearing voices and it just keeps getting worse. At first it started as whispers that I couldn't understand. Then it went to my name and the word hello being whispered. Last night was the worst it had ever been. The voices were extremely loud and were telling me that nobody cared about me and that I should just kill myself so I can stop being a waste of space. It...