I had a few good days this week. Saw both my therapist and psychartist and was feeling fairly positive until this am. and now I just feel overwhelmed again. The house is filthy. I mean disgusting. The health dept would probably close it, but I just sit in a chair. I cry and wish that things were different, but why can't I seem to make them different. The guy next door is 27 and keeps house like you wouldn't believe. Makes me so ashamed and no one is allowed in my house. I've been talking to my ex but if he saw this house he'd never think that I've changed and would never come back. Here come the tears. What's wrong with me. Other people with depression can clean but not me....I just don't seem to care about cat shit...it's like this place looks like my soul on the inside. I'm no longer suicidal, but so sad again. Feeling overwhelmed and it's not like I haved done cleaning this week. I cleaned out the fridge and such but ....oh to hell with it...you guys don't want to hear this
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