I am sad. I know I probably should take my meds but I just hate something having control of me even though I allow my depression to. I dont like the side affects and I like to feel what I feel just not sad! I dont want to be happy with people just cause Im on meds. I dont know if I make sense or not. I pray and I do get relieve but my mind constantly runs. I am fine and happy when I am isolated but when I am around people I have issues. Why do they judge me, why are they talking about me they are human just like I? Does my husband really love me?Am I realy this ugly? Why does God give me chanc after chance just so I can let Him down and mess up? Am I living in fantasy or reality when things are going well? I just have all kind of thoughts with no answers. I just dont know what to do. And my perception of time is all jacked up. I be thinking im having good days for a while and its only been a couple of days. Crazy!! Im just Crazy!!
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