Im sitting here at work and I want to cry, I can't, but I want to. I'm tired, so tired it hurts. I've had chronic and severe back pain for over 2 years now. No hope of sugery only progressive worsening of my back. I'm tired of being stuborn and tough for my family. I hurt phyically and emotionally. I'm going out of my mind. Numbness, fatigue, crawling out of my skin, feeling so sad my chest hurts. I was at the Dr the other day because of my back and he said I might want to consider going on a antidepresant because anyone with constaatnt chronic pain ussually has some depressiion as well and like a jerk I said NOT ME, I'M OK! I'm afraid to admit that sometimes I just wish my heart meds, my blood pressure meds or something would just give out so I can stop the pain. I don't want to die but I don't want to live. I don't think my wife really wants to face this so she acts cold and indifferent. I don't want scare my daughter so I go on being strong dad. why me? why now? stop the pain...please....
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