My husband of 23yrs left me at the start of december to his own flat and he finally told me he had been e-mailing his whore for a few months [yeah right!]more like a bloody year! i am devastated because this man who knew about all of my illness,s [i am fighting cancer i am on diaysis and i have acute chronic pain as well as severe depression!] i was with my husband for 25+yrs for what? so that he decides to get it into his head that he no longer loves me! nope! got that one wrong! he told me,i love you but i,m not in love with you what the hell is that suppost to mean!,i thought i was doing so well i had been cutting myself to get some of my past issues [i was taken of the street in broad daylight by several men who took me to a lock up where there friends were waiting]and haden,t cut for several years but now since a week before christmas i am cutting so bad that i have been stiched up on more than one occasioni know i shouldn,t do it but i can,t help myself,it,s almost like my mind tell,s me i have to do it in order to stop both the physical and mental pain,yet all it doe,s is cause,s more scar,s,i so wish we could be the way we once were,i will never ever have my husband back to live me and i guess you could say i,m giving up,your probably right but i just don,t feel theres any point in going on,why? what have i got to look forward to? sod all! i just am at the end of my tether and i have had enough i just wish someone anyone! could help me i really have enough of this life please help me i just need someone who truely understands how i,m feeling i won,t do anything cuz i need help
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I've been lurking on this board for awhile now, reading and learning, but not posting. I guess I felt that all I had to contribute was a very confused person who was lost, and in pain and I didn't want to bring people down...however, today I woke up and realized I had to fight back harder. That I couldn't just "sit and wait for things to get better" like the last 4 doctors I saw told me. Tomorrow...