i cant stop crying. im doing terrible. i have never talk to strangers or friends. i had told my ex boyfriend about times when i felt like this, but he doesnt know much or understand what i go through. this is so hard for me to say but i dont know what else to do. i some what dont want to die but its like the perfect thing to do right now. or maybe do want to but im afraid of trying to kill myself and not actually doing it. i feel worse knowing someone else would love to have my life right now. i feel selfish and guilty. i have lived with all these thoughts since i was about 13 years olds, its ten years later and i feel the same. i use to cut myself but i dont do that anymore. i wouldnt want to start again either. but i do feel like ending my life right now is the only way to go. why do i feel this way? why dont these feelings go away?
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