I am seriously considering ECT after i swore up and down for years that i would take a bullet first but I am desperate for relief. My depression is sooo bad. Everyday it is as bad as it could ever be....for months now. i am in the worst shape ever. Has anyone had ECT themselves or know someone that has? My whole reasoning behind not getting ECT is because I am afraid of it frying my brain cells. I was given a high IQ and the thought of losing that on top of everything else makes me mad. This depression has robbed me of everything, I would like to hang on to something. On the other hand though, what good am I or my IQ when I sit here day and night doing nothing on SSDI for depression? I guess I would rather be non-suicidal and stupid. Also can a tragic event or loss worsen depression even if you are not thinking about it (the event or loss) or you feel as if you are moving on? Does not make sense. I get mad when people tell me to stop thinking about something all the time and I would not be so unhappy and the fact is I am not even thinking about whatever they believe I am thinking about. I think a contributing factor as to why people are resistant to treatment is because there are morons in their life who know nothing about depression and should just keep their mouths shut. It is hard to treat something that is not acknowledged. Everybody in my life thinks depression can be talked out of. I wish. Are people really that stupid to think anybody actually enjoys this?
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