I know a lot of people say this "I just want to die". But I'm thinking how how I'm going to 'casually' kill myself by accident everyday for the past week or so. I have seen my psychaitrist and he's already upped my dosages. I have a therapist too. I do weird things like taking a lot of benadryl during the day and combining it with some other prescription med or over the counter meds. I know you're all going to tell me this is dangerous...yes I know. I'm hoping if I continue to do that my body will just shut down, rather then take a bunch and probably end up in a psych ward. I hope this isn't triggering to anyone. I'm actually scared of myself. I'm scared. I really want to die (I hate using the word kill) . I just don't see much out there for me right now. maybe in ten years if I'm not depreed anymore, but at this moment in time there's nothing and I just want to be dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully by the weekend I'll be done with life.
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