I feel like I am sinking in a big pool of quick sand and there is no hand to grab to pull me out this time. Not even the strong hand of my partner this time. I feel like I am all alone in the world and there is no one that ciould ever possibly understand why I felt the need to just be alone today, to not talk or be with anyone else other than myself. I'm not even sure I want there to be a hand to help me up this time. I really just want it all to end. For all the drama and bullshit to stop, all the hurt that keeps going back and forth to stop but it never will. I now understnad how my mother felt when she took enough pills to kill herself ten times over. The desperation, the not feeling she could tell anyone else what she was going through. Only thing is I could never do it to myself, not really, I'm a coward. How's that for a laugh...a severely depressed coward. Does the light at the end of the tunnel really exist?!?!?!
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