i want to do it so badly. i have the pills in front of me. it is so easy, but so hard. i work at a consumer-run mental health agency (i know, it's ironic, isn't it?) where everyone who works there has a mental health diagnoses. we have crisis intervention training right now every monday morning and this past week's was on suicide, of course. sitting through that training killed me from the inside out. my boss noticed it and had me talk to her. i told her a little about what was going on, but i can't seem to be totally honest with anyone about how serious my suicidal thoughts and plans are getting. i'm so afraid of ending up in the hospital, so i always leave the planning part out of the picture. i don't know what to do anymore. my self-injury isn't going to stop, the flashbacks of my dad molesting me isn't going to stop, so i should just take those pills and be done with it. thanks for listening.
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