I just got over being sicker than I've been in many years. I thought I was going to die. But even worse, I found out that I have no one in this world who cares about me except for Jesus and my dog. I was so sick and so weak.........and there was no one there to help me. No family, no friends. Nothing, nobody......Jesus was there, my little puppy dog stayed by my side in bed with me pretty much the whole time. My son, he's 18, didn't even notice I was so sick and was out most of the time. His father, who lives with us, knew and just didn't bother to try and help me at all even though the only reason he's even living here now is because he needed a roof over his head. I've never felt so utterly alone and uncared for in my entire life. I'm always there for others when they need help and I'm in a position to help but when I'm in need............there's just no one. I don't even feel like I belong in this world............like I'm an alien here or something. So I'm sitting here talking to a computer and getting ready to just try and take my mind off how aweful I feel inside and go to sleep. I guess I just wanted to write something...........I am here...........I do exist but it's a terrible and lonely existence.............
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