I figured out half the answers to all my problems and why i am depressed. its becuase i can't talk or i can talk but i'm just very bad at it. thats the worse part about it cuz i know i can be on that level that i want to be on i just don't know how to utilize the skills. i first thought that i sucked at talking becuase i had no experiences and so i had nothing to talk about or stories to tell. that is a part of it cuz when i try to remember an experience, i can start a conversation but i can't continue one. its not helpful cuz if i'm caught off guard which i am 90% of the time, then i still don't have anything to talk about. this is why i think its not my lack of experiences but its more of something in my brain. there must be something wrong with my brain that prevents me from instantly recalling events at the mention of one word or phrase. maybe its just that my brain thinks too slow in conversations. and thats not the only problem...even when i know exactly what i want to say and have practiced it in my head it still does not come out right at all. i said like a two year old talking or either i overexplain what i am saying. i try to be happy and i try to talk to people but everytime i talk i say something stupid, unintelligible, or just completely off topic or nonsensical. the fact that i'm an adult and i know i should talk better than this depresses the hell out of me. Can anyone help me learn how to talk and gain interpersonal skills too?
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