for the most part, these days, its been shit. but sometimes i still wish one of these guys would knock me up. not to have a handle on them, but because i'd love to have a baby. something i could love unconditionally, somthing that would love me no matter what. its a selfish thought. a daring thought. i'd never do it on purpose, but i've had those months, period isn't showing up when i expect and i think "what if??". sure, i panic, but at the same time, i think what if?? maybe i will have a baby. maybe, no matter whose it is, it'll love me. it'll pull me out of this bullshit and force me to straighten my act up. i know these are some sick thoughts. any thoughts on my disgusting thoughts??
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