Here I have been trying to tell all of these people that life is worth living and that god is a powerful god and that i have been touched in a life changing way by him. I feel like such a fool telling all these people to do something i cannot. I feel like a coward! I am FALLING APART! I am having serious thoughts about suicide right now! I have even tried to get a hold of my father (WHO I HATE) to come watch me blow my fuckin brains out! I HATE HIM! I HATED CHRISTMAS, I ALWAYS DO... BECAUSE OF HIM!!! MY MOM KILLED HERSELF BECAUSE OF HIM WHEN I WAS 9YRS OLD ON XMAS EVE!!! NOW I HAVE NOBODY!!! I AM STUCK IN A SITUATION THAT SUCKS SOooo SO BAD RIGHT NOW AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!!! I AM BACK AT MY HOUSE WHERE I AM FEARING FOR MY LIFE, AND I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE AND I HATE THIS, I FUCKIN HATE IT!! BUT ITS MY FAULT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I DID THIS TO MYSELF! I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE MY THINKING!!! I AM SO SCARED!
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...