I have been struggling with depression for almost a year. I feel trapped, confused, hopeless, and exhausted. I have gone through countless meds and doctors looking for help and can't seem to find anything or any combination that works. I walked out of my job, I lay in bed all day / watch tv all night unable to concentrate long enough to accomplish anything. My friends and family have disapeered, I feel directionless and unable to find even the slightest way to relieve my clouded mind. I've even tried a brief hospitilization and the experience was so awful I ran from it. I sit in my house all day wondering when I will get the courage to end it all. How do I break the cycle? Why does it take months to determine a medication isn't working? I feel like I've lost everything and nothing brings me hope...what can I do to restore some hope?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??