so i recently turned 21-- "the birthday of all birthdays" right?--but the thing is i am having a really hard time dealing with it--i guess i know partially why--but not completely--i know in essence i am only a year older--but it makes me look back on my life and look into my future--and I get this weird emotional feeling (somehwhat of a depressed/nervousy panicked state)and i am not 2 sure how to describe it, but it makes me sad...i know its sounds odd, but i am just really having a hard time with turning 21
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??